Laugh.Com Comic Page -- Jeff Altman

No offense, but you are far from funny. You weren’t bad in the 80’s, but what have you done lately? I saw you on Letterman earlier this summer Jeff, and it was nothing shy of PAINFUL. I’m thinking Dave must only have you on because you are friends, because even he didn’t seem to find you amusing.
Danny Minada
9/15/2005 6:42:58 PM - 71.128.167.108

No offense, but you are far from funny. You weren’t bad in the 80’s, but what have you done lately? I saw you on Letterman earlier this summer Jeff, and it was nothing shy of PAINFUL. I’m thinking Dave must only has you on because you are friends, because even he didn’t seem to find you amusing.
Danny Minada
9/15/2005 6:42:10 PM - 71.128.167.108

I do not know why but I was thinking about the fact that I have not seen you on TV talk shows in quite awhile. It was people like you, George Miller, Jay Leno, Tom Dreesen, and Teri Garr that always had that special chemistry with David Letterman. This goes especially for the old NBC Late Night which was endlessly entertaining. I hope you continue doing your comedy for as long as you wish. Be well.
Bob Dukart
9/9/2005 3:45:17 PM - 12.100.14.211

Hi Jeff - i sonder if you read this message board..... this is kim from Orlando and now Chicago.... its been a while and i’d love to talk to you. Email me if you want to get back in touch - saw you on Letterman last night - you look great - it was good seeing you.... hope to talk soon....Kim in chicago
Kim
7/28/2005 2:56:23 PM - 24.13.189.179

Hey Jeff, How big’s your BUTT STEAK now?????
Remember MEE?
6/30/2005 1:58:09 AM - 133.71.147.126

You played Hughie Hogg of the Dukes of Hazzard. you were on Nurses in a more less cartoony nature. Aside from doing stand-up in places I haven’t been to, What else have you been up to?
F. Lee B. III
5/18/2005 11:52:31 AM - 198.109.219.240

No doubt you are best at getting us to laugh so hard. I almost died when i saw you the first time in Newport beach ca. A small club called the Beach Ball. Mid seventies...you rocked! Long live Leonard Moon. Keep it up. A fan, Scott
scott
3/12/2005 1:36:32 AM - 69.235.228.197

My Witness to Television History and Jeff. As a child growing up in Hollywood we, got to take some great school field trips. We would go to the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, the Ahmanson Theater or the Mark Taper Forum to see plays, the ballet and the opera. In the late 70’s budgets for these field trips were cut. So now our trips consisted of going to NBC Burbank to see a taping of "Real People" . One day (Nov. 1979), my drama class from Bancroft Junior High School went to NBC Burbank to see a pilot for a new show called "Pink Lady". The show featured two Japanese girls (a singing duo called Pink Lady) Mie (Mitsuyo Nemoto) and Kei (Keiko Masuda) who were a big hit in Japan giving sell out concerts. Someone (Fred Silverman) thought that they could conquer American television and gave them a Variety Show. NOTE TO READERS: The era of the Variety Show was not dead yet but on life support. The girls were teamed up with a talented comedian named Jeff Altman who served as comic relief and emcee. We watched poor Jeff Altman trying to do some comedic banter with these two girls who could barley speak English. This banter was so bad that it made the bad pre-scripted banter given by award show presenters look like an evening with Nichols and May. We could hear every bad World War II joke imaginable from the audience and the back stage crew. These jokes became even more funny when Jeff introduced the girl’s who were going to sing a traditional Japanese song. The girls came out in kimonos and sang a few bars in Japanese. Then they ripped off their kimonos to reveal skimpy sailor outfits. A backdrop rises from the floor giving the appearance that they are on the deck of a battle ship. The girls break into the Village People’s "In the Navy". Followed by more banter with Jeff (See quote below). The show ended with the girls dragging Jeff kicking and screaming into a hot tub. What young heterosexual male would turn down an invitation into a hot tub by two sexy bikini clad Japanese girls in the pre safe sex world of the late 70s early 80s? Just as Jeff is starting to enjoy himself in the hot tub when a big guy (Ed Nakamoto) immerges from the water dressed as a samurai. Who knew that we would be the first to witness a show that would later make many "Worst TV Show Lists". Actually the show we saw would be re-shot on a different stage but sadly most of the material was used again. The best part of the day was in between scenes where Jeff Altman kept my drama class entertained by doing his boxer (Leonard Moon) character, Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon and Johnny Carson. He also did some of his Stand-up routine including some blue and pot material. It would be years before we were old enough to see that type or performance at the Comedy Store. For my friends and I, who at the time dreamt of being the next Robin Williams or Not Ready for Prime Time Player, we were amazed at his talent. We loved that he did not talk down to us. He showed us the professionalism that our drama teacher Mr. Holland tried to teach us. I got to meet Jeff Altman years later at a comedy club, but I didn’t want to mention the show. Thank you, Jeff for the field trip. To quote Jeff Altman (speaking to the girls after the "In the Navy" number), "I didn’t know that your honorable ancestors had Boogie Fever". Stay Tuned Tony Figueroa PS: I also want to thank my friend Richard who gave a Pink Lady and Jeff DVD that brought back all these memories. Check out Tony Figueroa’s CHILD OF TELEVISION Blog http://childoftelevision.blogspot.com/
Tony Figueroa
2/25/2005 2:55:56 AM - 198.81.26.17

Jeff, I’m in search of one of my favorite pieces of your work with no luck. It is the Valvoline commercial that you did around 88-89(?). You played both parts-the father and son at the store. Can anyone provide or direct me to that classic?
Greg Senkiw
1/25/2005 11:08:42 AM - 207.0.226.228

Warm Sympathies to Jeffrey who I know is mourning the death of Carson...you killed on his show...and made it possible for your talent to be discovered worldwide... With love, admiration and warm thought to you this day, Yvonne
yvonne maddox roderick
1/24/2005 11:18:52 AM - 156.33.88.77

Hello Everyone if you enjoy Comedy you might want to check out our Comedy Audio Web Magazine at; www.kspazradio.com Richard Spasoff
Richard Spasoff
1/9/2005 6:23:43 AM - 68.7.70.50

jeff - xxx kev do it!!!!!!!
kevinadudesguy
10/26/2004 5:27:49 AM - 68.6.209.34

Jeff- It’s your good friend from (Austin/Houston - remember?)Texas. I hope you are reading this, because I can’t seem to get in touch with you....it’s been a long time. I miss you! AMY
Amy
5/4/2004 8:21:25 PM - 68.19.233.28

Not sure if Jeff Actually reads these or not but I believe I met you at the Magic castle a bit ago. Seeing if you managed to get that move down. Stop by the site and say hi sometime!! www.smappdooda.com
Bizzaro.
4/4/2004 7:09:27 PM - 68.94.224.7

Jeff, the folks here think you’re funny now...but they didn’t grow up with you. There was a bus ride downtown in about 1967 where you made me and Neil Kashdan laugh so hard we had to get off two stops early just so we’d be able to walk without our sides aching. A huge fat woman sat next to you, and with a straight face, you told her that you were "Dr. Altman" and we were your patients...who suffered from a rare South American laughing disease. Ya know, things are consideably quieter in the ’cuse since you left--but definitely safer.:) "To laugh and be merry is commensurate with the cat’s patootie..." You’re commensurate, man; you’re commensurate. L’Chaim!
Tom Pardue
8/16/2003 7:13:43 PM - 67.75.62.69

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